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I know what it’s like to earnestly seek the truth but still be totally deluded.

I know what it’s like to think that what I believe, or what my loving pastor says, or what my ancient book says, is more true than what reason and evidence say.

Grass, lakes, trees, sunsets – all these were gifts of beauty from my Savior to me.That resonated with me, and we lived it out with the poor immigrants of Minneapolis. I’m going to seek genuine experience with God, to commune with God, and to reinforce my faith.By this time I had little interest in church structure or petty doctrinal disputes. So I decided I should try to find out who Jesus actually was. What I learned, even when reading scholars, shocked me. I studied the Historical Jesus, the history of Christianity, the Bible, theology, and the philosophy of religion. If only I could books by the very best Christian philosophers. I couldn’t force myself to believe what I knew wasn’t true. I am going to avoid solid atheist arguments, because they are too compelling and cause for despair.So, when I speak of the aesthetics of belief, I am saying that just as many materialists only believe in what can be experienced by the senses, I believe that my aesthetic encounters with God condition and shape my perception of reality. Well i guess i can share a few of your thoughts coz we lived together through some of these times and im sure we all had our moments where we faced a crossroad and we had to make a choice based on belief or anyother reason.Hi, I came across your site while trying to find good audiobooks I can download. I can see that you are such a brilliant man, an intelligent one, and I believe God will speak to you (or have already been speaking), I jsut pray you will find it in you to listen to Him. Personally im still a christian who is trying to fight the good fight.

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